Friday On My Mind

It's a nice, quiet Friday night. I'm relaxing in a dark room at my computer with a sleeping roommate; all my friends are either at a movie or getting ice cream or not anywhere near me for some other reason. We suspect two of them are making babies, without the babies part. They're also the two you'd least expect to be active. So it goes, perhaps. Everything goes; are we supposed to let things happen, like Billy Pilgrim, or should we actively participate in the dynamics of life? I prefer Vonnegut's philosophy, because it's so much easier to let things slide. If I could not-care about everything, I'd be so much happier. Things come back to haunt me, though; stress is mounting like a large boulder doesn't mount a horse.

I have time to philosophize now. I can complain about my problems, I can hope they're heard, I can sit here waiting for sympathy. I demand sympathy! I don't want it, though; it's like feeding a fat person cake to make them thin. I'm a mess, such a mess, as memories return to haunt me; memories filled with pain and suffering, which leads to the Dark Side. The Sith were pretty badass, though; I like the Sith. I wish I could be organized like they were. They had a nice system that allowed for world domination. My mind just sort of tangles itself up when let loose, so I'm reading Ender's Game (an excellent book) to keep it from grinding its gears. I should do work that needs to be done, but I can't do it. It's a mess. I'm going to be with friends momentarily, which really distracts me. That's what I need: distraction. It keeps me running.

Peace out.